Week 17: Reflection

Tonight, I walked through a silent city. 

For once, in the past month, my mind shut up. Finally, I could revel in the quiet and let the streets of San Francisco envelop my soundless footsteps. I peeked in on families having dinner together. Large turkeys sat as center piece's, framed by elaborate glass windows as twinkling lights guided my meandering path. 

For the first time in my life, I was alone on Christmas. 

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Week 14: Home

I sat amidst my childhood yesterday. 

There were piles of books, a box full of letters and birthday cards, a bulletin board filled with snapshots of my life, old markers, half completed journals, paintings, clothing, recipe books, the odd glow-in-the-dark star, photography and maps of places I have been. It was chaos. 

Oddly, I felt no emotion. No sadness as I tossed now-unnecessary objects in the trash. No regret as once nostalgic objects joined others in the giveaway bag.

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Week 11: Connection

Phone dead. Communication cut off, I was left with one option: engage in the world around me. The airport was quiet and clean. A Kiwi couple across from me disrupting the otherwise calm nature of my surroundings. I glimpsed a familiar book cover peeking out of their oversized backpack, the type only a true adventurer lugs around. 

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Week Eight: Pause

I’m learning how to drive a stick shift. It’s been, a humbling experience. Last night, after realizing the car was in 3rd gear (not 1st), the culprit of my continuous stalling, in utter distress I yelled, “I just hate being bad at things!”. After which I sheepishly, with many fits and starts, drove us home. I have this inherent, silly and deep-rooted fear of looking stupid. No one wants to look like an idiot, but my disdain can be rather paralyzing.

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